I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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