It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
