Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
nutella sex= disaster
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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