I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
