my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
