ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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