Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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