We won't sleep together?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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