I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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