I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
