how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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