just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize