I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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