Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
