I wannas sexs uuuuu
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
