It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
