The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
