Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement

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(845): View more from New York

I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think we should have started that trash fire

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship

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(216): View more from Ohio

When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job

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(503): View more from Oregon

In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!

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(248): View more from Michigan

27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?

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