i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
