You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
