in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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