Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
