I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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