I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
