I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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