i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
