i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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