If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
