my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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