Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it glows. i had to have it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
