i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
