Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
