i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize