We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can Purell be used as lube?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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