Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
