Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
