Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
