Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
