Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
