Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
