Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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