Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
