She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
