Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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