Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
