I bet he comes in French.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
