it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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