So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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