Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just invented taco cereal.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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