I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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