I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize