thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
