So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
