All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
