So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
