Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize