i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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