Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
