stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You made out with two different species that night
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize