so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
