you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
