we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
